Motherless Child

I’ve been trying to write this post since I started Elle Est forte in 2017. But every single time words just seem to fail me. How do you write a blog post about all that your mother was to you when words truly doesn’t do it justice? How do you encourage others when you still struggle daily? How do show the world how a important your mother is to you when she’s no longer here? There’s so many words that were left unsaid. So many questions that I have that will go unanswered. So much advice I’m in need of for moving through life, moving through love. And for all of us that have lost their mother, I’m sure we’ve all been here at some point. A point where you feel so lost and all you want is your mother.

There's no pain like the pain of losing your mother. It can leave you feeling lost, hopeless and alone. And as we go through life there are some things that we encounter that we want to turn to our mother. Your mother is your first best friend but is also the one that that tries to keep you on the right path. Your mother can in times be your counselor, doctor, nurse, lawyer, cook, teacher, EVERYTHING wrapped into one. Your mother is a small piece of Jesus on earth.

As you get older the need for your mother does not decrease. There are some things in life that we feel like we need our mother by our sides because lets be real, your mother is not going to sugar coat anything. She's going to be real with you and tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. In those moments in life, when you need your mother the most, after your mother is no longer with you, it can leave you feeling like a motherless child. No matter how old you are and how long it has been since she passed, in those moments it can leave you feeling like a lost child with no guidance, trying to figure out which way to go.

I wish I could say that as the years go by that it gets easier, but it doesn't. But as time goes on you begin to realize that your mother may not physically be here but that she's still with you spiritually. You will have your moments where all you want to do is crawl into her arms and cry, where you want to call her on the phone just to hear her voice or ask her for advice or to simply say "Let me tell you what happened today," where you just want to hear her laugh. When you lose your mother, it can leave you feeling like a part of you has died. And when we're in those moments, where we feel like a lost child, there's some things we should lean onto in order to make it through.

1. Never Forget the Memories

Whether they're good or bad, cherish the moments and times shared with your mother. We all have good times and bad times with our mother, times when she was your best friend and times when she got on your nerves because she was telling you about yourself. In the memories will be the answer for what you're going through. The memories may bring a tear or two but the tears will lead to a smile as you reflect on your time together. The memories will be what will ease your pain and get you through the tough times.

2. Mourn Your Way

There will be people to tell you that they understand how you feel, when really they don't. There will be people that will try to tell you how to deal with your loss. There will be people that will tell you how long you should mourn. But there is no time table on how long or a checklist on how to mourn. We all mourn differently, we all handle the loss of a loved one in different ways. Mourn the way you mourn and don't let anyone try to tell you how to mourn or make you feel bad for the way you choose to mourn. You know what YOU need in order to heal.

3. Lessons Learned

Throughout our time with your mother she will teach you so many lessons. Take those lessons with you everywhere you go. Everything she taught you was not in vain, they taught you how to get you through every moment, trial, good times and bad times in life. As you are going through the trials of life, remember the lessons, the talks, the lectures, the speeches that she gave. The lessons, the guide to life are in those moments. Cherish those lessons and take them with you through your daily walk of life.

Letter to my mom:

Dear Mama, There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish you were here with me. Here for me to share with you the highs and accomplishments on the good days, here for me to cry on your shoulder and ask for advice on the bad days. There’s so much I want to say to you, so much that was left unsaid, so much to get off of my chest that I only want to share with you. Wish you were here to comfort me, love me, support me only how a mother can. Lord knows I need you, Lord knows that I miss you so much. There are days I pick up the phone to call you only to realize you’re no longer physically here. I know that you are with me spiritually but knowing that doesn’t ease the pain. I lost you at such a pivotal moment in my life, when a girl needs her mother the most. The moment when I was transitioning from a girl to a young lady. But I have taken all of your words and advice up to that point to help push me in the right direction. I hope that I’m making you proud, I hope you’re looking down on me smiling. Know that I’m trying my best, I’m trying to be the woman you taught me to be, trying to be the person that God called me to be. You will always be in my heart, the amazing mother, woman of God, the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman that I’m striving to be. I pray that I can just be half the woman that you were. Mama, I love you with all my heart and I pray that when God calls me home you embrace me in your arms with a proud smile on your face.

Forever Pam’s daughter, Brittney R. Lott